So I was invited to a lovely ornament exchange party the other day, and I think I ruined it. With full apologies to my dear friend who hosted the party, I shall now retell the tale.
In part because I somehow became convinced it was a White Elephant party, and in part because I obviously don’t know the proper way to make a good impression, I brought an odd choice to the party. All of the other women had wrapped up their ornaments in elaborate boxes, while mine was tiny and thin, and not even in Christmas paper. Needless to say, it was opened next to last, after all the other gorgeous glass balls and angels, birds and little mini-snowmen were opened and stolen back and forth. I end up stealing a shiny disco ball ornament from this pregnant girl, who then had to select my gift from the pile. And then she opened it, and it’s a mustache. A mustache ornament. And it’s furry. And I’m like, um, that’s what happens when you go ornament shopping at Urban Outfitters.
She was mildly amused, while I’m sure everyone else was wondering who brought this girl? Particularly my friend’s mom, who was there, and gave a lovely ornament, and I should mention, also runs cotillions on the side. So yeah, me and my mustache ornament: making a good impression.
But perhaps the once saving grace was that the pregnant girl ended up taking the hook and hanging the mustache from her shirt, so it dangled down and looked like her big belly had a mustache. Which was awesome, and makes me think that there’s a future for Mr. Potato Head style decorations for pregnant ladies. Just sayin.
[The mustache ornament of your dreams]